Actually, forgive me if this is indicative of particular laziness on my part, but I'm going to post the list because I think it gives a good summary of my life in slightly non-traditional form. unclear points will be explained.
to do
1. mail gifts to mom
3. email HBA teachers (as in, tell them I'm alive and would love to take them out to a meal because god knows they've earned it)
4. post blog update(s)
5. launder (not money...)
9. GRAD SCHOOL recommendations (you need three of them??)
10. SIGN UP FOR THE GRE IN THE NEXT WEEK OR SO! (URGENT!)
11. explore the neighborhood more12. chinese review
13. buy an alarm clock
14. use acne medication (hah, that's an embarassing one)
16. sign up for bally's
18. buy a microphone (computers always find new ways to make my life more complicated)
21. buy fruit
22. download music illegally (uh...legally would be fine too)
23. GET GRAD SCHOOL RECOMMENDATIONS - THREE! OF THEM (I suppose this is on my mind at the moment)
24. heal knee by not being stupid
25. new visa
completed
2. HAVE TAPE (my desk is now decorated)
6. TALKED TO ALL PARENTALS
7. VPN SOLVED (hah)
8. 2:30, dinner at 6:30 (I'll explan this)
15. the bathroom smells bad and you're just going to have to deal with it
17. FOUND CCB (my bank)
19. grad school deadlines are all well off in the future
20. BOUGHT PHONE MINUTES (about time)
I suppose that's not a hugely informative list. but it's a summary of what's going through my head at the moment. I think I'll punch in two more paragraphs right now and hopefully add more at some point in the near future. Although judging from my track record, if you read this blog you must have come to the conclusion that I'm a pathological liar.
I will start with today. Started out verrrry slow, although I did some actual useful web-surfing amidst my procrastinatory behavior. however, from about 2:15 onwards to 5:30, I had the chance to hang out with 李汀羽 (li tingyu)， one of the few chinese friends I have in town. I wish I could start explaining effectively how amazingly cool she is - she's a french major (which means we have three languages to overlap, which actually came in handy once or twice). She just about went with us to sichuan on remarkably short notice. I'm still sad that that fell through. Her knowledge of western culture in general is realllly impressive, too - she talked to me today about how her favorite actor was al pacino, then told me her theory about devil's advocate, its connection to paradise lost, and what she thought of milton's motives in his portrayal of Satan. I'm embarassed by my own lack of knowledge of Chinese literature and culture by comparison - I mean, what do you learn in the states about anyone besides your western canon? and who actually reads paradise lost, anyway??
realllllly quick aside...I remember reading confucius, lao tzu and chuang tzu (孔子，老子 and 庄子） in high school and being somewhat underwhelmed in some respects. but if I had just started to realize the impossibility of translating terms with their proper context, I'd like to think I would've not been as obnoxious about them as I most likely was. I can't read classical Chinese to save my life, but just looking at a little book of confucian dicta that my lovely language tutor gave me makes me realize how little I knew.
There is one point on which 汀羽 really amazes me: That she's willing at all to spend time with me one-on-one. Here's what I mean: I had a great conversation with my new friend Toni here at ACC about how stereotyping works not only against foreigners but anyone who associates with them, too. To my discredit, I'd never really noticed as much as I should have. But Toni, who is an Asian girl, explained to me that anyone who saw us hanging out together would naturally assume that she was, effectively, a prostitute or a call-girl, and even as we were walking the street together she would notice the occasional ill-meaning glance or look of judgment from other Chinese people we walked past. And today, walking around with 汀羽, I noticed for the first time how many people would look at her judgingly as she walked past, sometimes directly, other times turning their heads once she had passed. I found it so hard not to be furious at times at the injustice imposed on 汀羽 by a generation of my own western kindred who create the stereotypes that exist by their willingness to exploit China for all its worth, and now the prejudice against any chinese girl who interacts with a western guy. it's also why I get angry at my classmates, but mostly at myself, for sometimes buying into a system that allows us to get whatever we want for cheap (though obviously above indigenous prices) and creating our own, unreal expatriate pocket. But that's also too naive of a way of looking at things as well - is that not what the chinese middle class is angling for, and what the upper class already has? and is my odd puritanical streak not hypocritical in and of itself, an act of self-denial?
In any case, 汀羽 amazes me, because I've never seen her notice the attention around her once. if she does, she's never let it show. I respect her equanimity in a situation that would incite my anger.
Ironically (in light of the long rant above about expat life not being "real" somehow) I ended up going to pizza hut with kevin, a classmate of mine from yale who happens to speak great chinese as well as being an extremely nice guy. we started at the same time, but I think he's definitely a step or two ahead of me. It was an encouraging evening on the whole on several fronts. I ended up going back to wudaokou, my old neighborhood, satisfying in itself because I really like the place and also because it makes me feel like this semester could in some way be a continuation rather than starting over. kevin's going to be around for a year, along with kevin olusola, which is also hugely encouraging - they're great folks. for all that I miss the great friends I developed over the summer, I'm starting to convince myself successfully that life goes on. I'm planning on sending my teachers a mass email telling them that I'm around and that I'll treat them to dinner any time - the least I could do given that they're all amazing, worked harder than any of the students all summer, not to mention each and everyone one of them is a good-hearted, nice, fun person. I seriously hope that they'll get back to me. but at the very least I've got some links here already.
I was going to take one last paragraph to talk about my overall circumstances. however, I have a recently purchased dvd of slumdog millionaire currently loading, not to mention seasons 1-4 of meteor garden, which I'm hoping will carry on the tradition of using bad chinese sitcoms to improve my skills. but I suppose I'll mention a thing or two about my circumstances. my roommate got here today, and he seems like a great guy, although he goes to bed early, which means I may have to preemptively start scouting out nearby late night hideouts. I'll certainly miss my habits from the summer, which would including taking 2 am study breaks to watch german soccer games broadcast in chinese, or listening to V (think mtv, only more chinese music and maybe not quite as slick) at all hours of day and night. I'm sure I'll find a way to bring the insanity to my life no matter what though.
So far all of the ACC folks I've met have been fantastic. Just about everyone here has spent a lot of time in China, more than I have in most cases, although my roommate is a fun exception (he's never left the states before, which means I get to play cicerone). still not sure if my chinese will place me into third or fourth year, or whatever the equivalent is, as well as whether I should worry one way or the other. Gu laoshi, head of HBA and former head of ACC, suggested that the 5th year program here is not as good as 3rd and 4th and that I should try to request a place in intermediate because I'd still be able to learn a lot. I may just leave it up to them to decide. whatever happens, my chinese abilities are in for a wild ride...
Indeed, your Chinese will sky rocket no matter what as long as you are putting in the effort. Sorry to hear about the connections issues. Keep me posted on how you work around this (if you find some novel solution).
ReplyDeletewho needs formatting? :) i like the lists. i especially like reading other people's lists. where are you applying to grad school?
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